.fears.

I don't know what is it about this year with the word death and lost.

Too many people died and too many hearts were broken, devastated & hurt due to their lost.

I lost my uncle few days ago. He was such a cheerful soul, always cracking jokes. It was not until he pass away that I realized I knew too little about him. Al-fatihah.

My aunt was so strong, hearing her stories about him made me felt jealous on how lucky she was to be married to him. To have Allah lend him to her for 17 years, and lemme tell you seventeen years is too short of a period, too short.

There were 2 other deaths that happen yesterday and that left me with nothing else to say but ponder about life.

I don't really find the topic of death something i like to talk about. Truthfully I have this fear, not fear of dying but fear of dying unsatisfied with yourself. I fear dying when you have done nothing while being alive, I fear being forgotten.

There's still so much i haven't done, haven't felt, experience, & see.. and the idea of me dying right now is so terrifying. The idea of loosing just anyone who has live with me under the same roof without learning something from them or knowing more about them is even more afflicting.

"Mati itu pasti" arghhh ya i know. But we need more time no? for ourselves, for each other, for preparations of the hereafter and also to experience every stages in life.

Sorry, I'm just being too human.
A selfish human who wants so many things in life but sometimes clueless with mostly everything.

But then again, why fear when you can pray. BAMM!!